when going to a respectable college, its a very different atmosphere. people pay to go to class.you rarely see anything you normally see in a public school. this is my second year in college in NYC and i feel that people on campus are even nicer than people just anywhere.

Its much easier making friends for the first time in college. Everyone is (probably) in the same boat as you, so everyone has to be friendly. If you want to find really good friends, get involved in a group or activity you are interested in, like ultimate frisby leagues, or Amnesty International, etc.

Hi Jermaine,

Sebastiaan here. Yes, there are solutions. Before I get into those, first some facts about the difference in people in grade school and people in college.

-People in grade school are childish. And there’s a lot of peer pressure to join teasing someone.
-People in college are serious about their education and want to have an enjoyable time. That is easier in a comfortable athmospere. They are more mature (often) and as a result more nice to others.

And the big difference is, bullying isn’t ‘cool’ anymore when you are an adolocent. People see it as weak or immature. So cool people will most likely not bully you.

Now aside from that…

You still have the fear of being bullied. You most probably suffer from social anxiety and possibly even a social anxiety disorder. Test yourself here (takes 1 minute): http://www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/social-anxiety-test.html

When you suffer from social anxiety (disorder), you have irrational fears and limiting beliefs about yourself and others. These need to be changed into positive ones.

This can be a long and tedious process. But thankfully, this doesn’t have to be.

There are two options I recommend. The first one is the most common one recommened and recognized. I don’t recommend that one myself, but to be complete I do want to tell you a bit about it. My real recommendation comes thereafter; best for last

The most recognized ‘solution’ to social anxiety is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Often this is recommended -sometimes in combination with medication-. And sometimes only medication is recommended (But I have never heard someone overcoming his social anxiety disorder, I’ve only read that people are better able to cope with it because of medication. But with medication often comes side effects and addiction)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is based on the premise that thoughts cause feelings. And that your feelings affect your behavior.
The therapy uncovers negative thinking, irrational beliefs and unwanted behaviors that cause your negative emotions.

These negative thoughts, beliefs and behaviors first get identified. Once that’s achieved the approach is to replace these with more rational, positive ones.

This in turn changes the way you think about social situations that give you anxiety. And as a result you’ll feel better, can think more clearly, and make better decisions.

CBT reduces your anxiety and helps you to better cope with it.

You can read more about CBT here (Or you can of course google it ) :

http://www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/social-anxiety-treatment.html

My strong recommedation is to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). EFT therapy is basically an emotional form of acupuncture, except we don’t use any needles.

With EFT you tap on specific meridian points on your body while being focused on your problem. In doing so it can eliminate negative emotions and limiting, irrational beliefs.

This causes the social anxiety to DISAPPEAR. Of course this takes some skillfull use of EFT, but the good thing about it is that the results are permanent, it’s NOT a placebo and you won’t have to COPE with any anxiety anymore. This tool is truly amazing.

Now this probably sounds very weird and out there, but stay with me, let me explain. And for scientific proof, visit this page where I have collected research being done on how EFT works.

http://www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/how-does-eft-work.html

EFT combines elements of cognitive therapy, somatic intervention, and brief exposure therapy.

It is an amazing tool that you can use to get rid of any and all negative emotions and limiting beliefs. I’m talking about fear, anxiety, grief, guilt, anger, sadness etc. So this tool is very useful to help you get over your social phobia.

Try it out for yourself here (I’m guiding you through a simple process):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jnlu1DaHLo

And also, EFT is a self help tool so you will most likely be able to make some progress by yourself. You can learn the basics online for free. Check emofree.com.

In fact, it’s the best I have found in my long search for the best techniques, tools, strategies and therapies…

Furthermore there are some other therapies that are optional, but CBT is the most recognized one, and EFT is the most powerful and effective one in my experience as an ex sufferer and social confidence coach.

My advice is to thoroughly investigate all the options there are. Go online and check out all the
resources. Don’t fall for the marketing hype of some pill that will cure you. There is no such thing.

I wish you all the best,
Sebastiaan

“Go from social anxiety to social confidence and build the social life of your dreams!”

P.S. If you want to be coached 1 on 1 via skype to overcome all your social anxiety forever within 3 months, from the comfort of your own home, my coaching package “Social Anxiety to Social Co